Thoughts on the solitary loneliness of bigorexia

I posted this on MeWe first, but the post lacked a permalink, so had to post this here.

Lots of fancy words without any kind of scientific proof to back them up with.

In response to the linked article about #hypermasculinity #muscle #dysmorphia #bigorexia :

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jul/17/gym-eat-repeat-the-shocking-rise-of-muscle-dysmorphia

I find it strange, that when men are finally able to look as man as they can be, these stories crop up. — Often for good reason, when a person has died, and when the cause of death was preventable.

A person I know online suggested once, that men with muscle dysmorphia turn out to be bisexual or gay, though he was not able to provide any reason as to why.

The only cause I can think of (as a gay male person) for muscle dysmorphia happening and then reinforcing itself, is, that it being a solitary condition, it gets progressively worse as there is no deeply physical outlet of validation.

Sure, the men get verbal validation at the gym... But hypermasculinity perpetuated by the dysmorphia precludes the guys under its spell of slowing down and mutually, deeply and fully enjoying with one another what they've got. — Mostly because working out is all that's left for them in the end.

And then comes the end, but that, save physical/medical reasons, is caused more by the heavy weight of solitude.

Said isolation is reinforced by the highly competitive environment, low self-esteem, and the mutual trepidation of visually competitive gymgoers' masculinity and size, which was meant to convey not only strength, but also to implicitly impose the appearance of potential danger upon others, and raise fear in their hearts.

Maybe this fear of losing in a make-believe "fight" is one of the internal components that keeps them going.

This absence of inner safety in the company of able competitors makes verbal validation appear internally hollow, notwithstanding any level of truthiness in said encouragement.

Would that mean lack of sufficient positive reinforcement, or that it's turned down too easily, and then internalised as empty?

[ Like attracts like. ]

I find the solution to reaching that inner safety to be within the spiritual and physical warmth of another like person. If not in the previous relationship with someone who is too different.

Sportspeople foster long-standing relationships together, including marriage.

But I guess, the hypermasculine environment, most of all, internally, implicitly promotes loneliness even in the company of outward camaraderie. Because — how much of it is real, anyway? And with whom would it be — to the ones who have managed to insulate themselves so tightly, that they've failed to notice?

This takes me back to the unwritten tenets of hyper-individualistic and at one time patriarchal societies, in which:

• many young men have been unwisely conditioned not to speak unless spoken to; and

• beginning a meaningful contact feels like infringing on another man's personal space, equalling with heresy;

• thus blunting their overall social acuity. Perhaps I'm projecting this from own experience.

I guess that's it for now.